Experiencing the Gorge

[Dave Schneider]

Well, I have finally had my trip to the holy land of windsurfing. On July 28, I took off with Greg Heymans and Sid (no last name needed here – there’s only one Sid) and landed in Portland a few hours later. Our trip was uneventful as we pulled into Hood River around 1:00 a.m. west coast time. As we approached the Hood River bridge (we were to stay in a house in White Salmon, across the river from Hood on the Washington side), we noticed a bright construction sign that said the *&^&!! bridge was closed. Are you kidding me? It’s 1:00 a.m. and we have to drive another 25 minutes farther east, up to The Dalles, and then back 25 minutes to White Salmon. Aargh! By the time we hit our house we were exhausted. But what a place. Not the nicest house in the world, but the deck that stretched across the entire back of the house was exquisite. Watch that first step, though, because it’s about 150 feet straight down. We had a spectacular view of Hood River, the nearly full and then full, blue moon rising every night, and Mt. Hood in the background. No mosquitoes, dry and very comfortable air. Wow.

Well, enough about the place. Got up the next morning after only four hours sleep, had breakfast and headed into town to rent gear. First place, hmm, hardly any rental stuff. Second place, same story. Then we hit Swiss Swell (http://www.swiss-swell.com/), and by chance they had pretty much the exact gear that the three of us needed (maybe with the exception of Sid’s board, but more on that later.) I rented a Fanatic Triple X 99 (http://www.swiss-swell.com/wind_boards.html) and Greg rented an AHD MX 61 (which, contrary to its moniker, is a 92 l board). The first of the boards that Sid rented was, well, I can’t really remember, because he changed boards more frequently in four days than I changed underwear, but I do remember that the graphics on the board were a bit too radical for the old man. Anyhoo, we rented nine sails between the three of us from 5.9 Lofts down to 3.9. Most of the sails we used were the Lofts, and anyone who has seen my posts in past years knows how much I like those Loft sails. We also got two masts per person and one boom. Needless to say, we had a lot of gear, but fortunately, Sid was able to deftly upgrade our vehicle at the rental agency to a full size Durango. Good move, Sid. We were able to stuff all that gear inside.

So, we let Sid make all the calls on sailing sites, and he performed like the seasoned veteran that he is. First day choice was the Event Site. We figured a mellow tune-up was just what our wind-starved, mid-summer, Minnesota bodies could use the first day. What those bodies didn’t need was four straight hours of mellow tune-up. Buy hey, we were in the Gorge!! We pulled our sorry heinies off the beach at about 5:00 pm after logging about four hours on the water. What a great day: 90+ degrees, plenty of wind (I sailed the 5.9, Greg the 5.7 and Sid the 5.2.) We were fully powered all day and had a blast playing in the swell on the north side of the river and blasting on the south side. Day ended with a dinner at Horse and Feathers in Hood River and then several beers on the deck. It was hard to go to bed with that stunning view just sitting there for us to drink in.

Next morning, day two, and Sid calls for Stevenson. We head out earlier today and make it to the beach by about 10:00 or so. Wind is already blowing with enough vigor to put me back on the 5.9 and the 99 l board. (For a point of reference here: I maybe get three or four sessions per year in MN where I can be on a 5.9 and 99 l board. I’m about 187 pounds and can handle a lot of sail. I rarely sail in MN sub 5.9). We spent the entire day ripping about at Stevenson. The conditions were nearly perfect and our gear was equally matched. I think on day two Sid had rented an additional board and traded in the board he had for something different – it was a little bit difficult to keep track of his board ventures. Stevenson is such a great venue for sailing, with a decent amount of parking, and a big grassy rigging area and stone steps down into the water. We also had a great lunch at a café in town that we were able to walk to from the beach. There’s something pretty wonderful about being able to have an entire day to sail and not ever feel rushed because you have to get back to work, or home to get the kids, or feel like you have to get back on the water because the wind could die at any minute. It literally blew sailable winds from 7:00 a.m. until about 9:00 p.m. every day we were there. Fantastic! This night we went back home and cooked out on the grill and had a great meal on the deck while watching the nearly full moon rising.

Day three, and feeling ‘Gorge Seasoned’, we decided to take it up a notch, so we hit Doug’s Beach. We got there early again and had good parking. I rigged the 5.9 again, but within an hour or so, I was overpowered and the swell was getting too much for me to handle. Greg and Sid were ripping it up, but all were feeling overpowered, as well. I came in and rigged a 5.4 Gaastra Poison and hit the water again. This was good for a while, but again I began to get overpowered. So I came back in and put a 4.7 on one of Sid’s boards (by this point I have no idea what board it was because Sid swapped boards again – it may have been a Starboard Carve, about 90 l.) Anyway, this is where things got a bit interesting.

I headed back out into the raging swell with Greg, Sid, and an ex-Minnesotan named Diego (some of you Cannon sailors may remember him) watching me. I got about 300-400 yards out, right in the middle of the channel, when I turned upwind into a huge swell, and as I went up, the sail and I fell backwards and the board shot out from under me like a cannon, in the opposite direction and downwind, of course. Instant Panic!! I’m in the middle of a fury wearing a shorty and one of those very small windsurfing lifejackets, which haven’t much flotation (thanks to Greg and Sid for insisting that I rent and wear one – helmet too, all week). All I could think of was “must get board” and “mustn’t get sucked under by barge.” So I start swimming after the board like a man fighting for the last spot on the Olympics 1600-meter relay team. Every stroke brings me a little closer to the board and a lot closer to total exhaustion. Just as I was about to grab the fin, a huge wave would push it out of my reach. After what felt like a mile swim (but in reality was probably 100 yards or so – hard to know) I actually caught my board, which was a good thing, as all the other sailors on the water were so focused on navigating the swell that they apparently didn’t see me in distress. When I got to the board, I was barely able to climb on because I was so exhausted. At this point I also noticed that the mast didn’t separate from the mast base, and also that the mast base did not break (one of these scenarios I assumed had happened), but rather, the mast base had separated from the board. Much to my surprise, the nut was still on the end of the screw, which meant that I would be able to re-attach it, hopefully. So, I managed to climb onto the board, despite the monstrous swell that kept me bobbing in the water. As I looked back upwind, I could see my rig floating, so I began to paddle back toward it. I had a very difficult time paddling in the swell. As my board was small, I had to hold onto the board with my left hand and paddle only with my right, or I would be pushed off my board by the swell. The rig didn’t seem to be getting closer at a fast enough pace, and it was then that I realized that, while the wind and swell were pushing me and board downwind, the current was pulling my rig upwind. Paddle faster. I finally made it to my rig, and I just lay there on the board holding onto both my board and rig, resting. As I began to try to re-assemble rig to the board to no avail, another sailor came over to me. As he and I were wrestling with my gear, yet another sailor stopped, and he held #1’s gear while we re-attached. But at this point, I’m so tired I can’t even water-start. Guy #1 stayed with me all the way back to the shore, which took me about 10 minutes to reach due to my state of exhaustion. I wish I had gotten his name – he saved my butt out there. Finally I body dragged/half-sailed back to shallow water, but was about 300 yards upwind due to the current. As I looked back toward the launch, I saw Sid looking for me. When he spotted me, he returned to our rigging area, where a few minutes later I found the rest of our group. After telling them my tale, just to add insult to injury, I noticed that they had eaten pretty much all of the chips that I brought along to snack on. Now I was really bumming!

I decided to not sail anymore that day as I was pretty much spent. So, after having some lunch at a local café, I decided to hit the water once more and had a great session on the XXX. Back in the saddle! When finished packing up our gear, we headed back to our place for a couple of beers before heading out to dinner. We were getting back into the vehicles at about 7:15 pm or so to head for dinner when Sid notices we’re a board short. Must be in Diego’s Suburban. Nope. We’re definitely missing a board and we quickly realized it was my XXX. So we load into the Suburban and start heading back to Doug’s. I knew exactly where I left the board, which was about 15 yards away from our rigging area. Now, after having Sid chauffeur Greg and me for the past three days, we were no fans of his driving – a bit herky-jerky and definitely aggressive, and with our bodies crammed in among all that gear, we really couldn’t see the road too well, which only added to the overall uncomfortableness of the situation, but, I was sure wishing he had been behind the wheel at this particular moment. Diego was driving a bit too conservatively for my liking, never breaking the speed limit. My thought was that if there were even one sailor left at Doug’s, then the board would probably be there, too. If not, who knows where it might be. Wind was nearly dead by the Event Site. But, as we got closer to Doug’s, we noticed the wind was cranking and there were about a dozen sailors on the water. I sprinted down to the rigging area and there it was, right where I left it. I know all three of us were doing the math in our heads as to how much that missing board was going to cost us to replace. The irony here is that I pretty much unrigged everyone else’s gear and carried a fair amount of it to the car, only to leave my board lying there in the weeds. At any rate, disaster was averted and we had a good dinner out in Hood River.

Day four we had a limited amount of time before we had to catch a 2:30 plane out of Portland. We decided, in the interest of time, that if the wind were blowing, we would hit the Event Site early on Sunday morning for a couple of hours, return our rental gear, and hit the road. We got up and the wind was already blowing. By the time we got to the Event Site, there were about 3 or 4 other sailors on the water. We rigged same way as Day One and two fantastic hours on the water, with relatively little traffic.

We returned our gear, I paid a repair charge for a cracked nose, and we hit the road. Sid’s driving nearly made us nauseous on the drive to Portland, but we made it relatively unscathed. What a trip! Greg’s already working it on the home front to do it again next year. We’ll see. But if we go, Sid definitely does not get to drive.

[Dopper]

Dave,
Just wanted to thank you for the great story. I'm fairly new at windsurfing and will probably never be able to handle the Gorge. I'm still trying to master the massive swells and driving winds at Whitebear Lake! Ha! Nevertheless... I really enjoy listening to all the guys adventures. I'll live the experience from the comfort of my desk! Thanks again. Doug/Dopper

[Tighe]

Great story Dave. Sounds like a great time.

[Chris]

Great story. It was especially interesting since I know Sid and Diego. Next time you go, invite me -- your gear problems and Sid's gear switching will seem minor.

Chris.

[Bill S.]

Dave, great story--wish I could have joined you guys. Next year.

Sid IS a mad man but the best traveling companion. With him behind the wheel we once got pulled over in Costa Rica, at which point Sid artfully finessed our way out of a ticket and then, when just out of sight of the police, promptly took our little rental back up to warp speed.

[Sid]

I could fire my gun now but at the rate I'm acquiring ammo I had better hold. Also sounds as though I need a board test section.

[Eric S]

After re-reading Dave's Gorge account can you put in in the Stories or Destinations sections so it doesn't get buried? Dave, one of the lines that cracked me up the most was...

"After telling them my tale, just to add insult to injury, I noticed that they had eaten pretty much all of the chips that I brought along to snack on. Now I was really bumming!"

That's so true! So funny!

And hey Dopper, don't set your sights too low. The Gorge is not really that hard of a place to sail. Usually you can drive AWAY from the wind if it's too stong in your particular location. IMO the only skill you really have to have wired is a solid waterstart.